ArtySri's Jokes

I am a late bloomer, my funny bones took time to develop.

Comedians see the glass as half bull.

Hover over the text to view the full joke

Americans love sales

Why do Americans love sales?
Because for them, money is a “big deal.”

Sports fans

Why are sports fans not good sports?


Waking up sleepy.


Beauty is short-lived: just ask the Christmas tree.


Why are people so stressed about relaxing?


Can we rebrand world hunger as intermittent fasting?


IVF is a battle won with sex and drugs.

Elon Musk

Does wanting to go to Mars make Elon Musk mad or just a nomad?

Chocoholics like me love bars. Bars of chocolate. We have massive hangovers. Our waist, our bellies, our hips, our thighs, all "hangover."

One of the paradoxes of our society is that fat people don't carry a lot of weight.


Binge-watching is an eating disorder waiting to happen.

Are couch potatoes who eat French fries cannibals?
Weight loss
I am depressed about my weight;
I need a shrink for my stomach
Knock knock

Knock knock jokes won’t get you anywhere.
Opportunity never
knocks twice.

If Edison believed success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, instead of the light bulb he’d have invented deodorant.
Angry feminists

Some feminists are always so angry and hitting the roof.
Do they think that’s the only way to break the glass ceiling?

Worst lawyers

Every Thanksgiving the President pardons one lucky turkey,
and all the remaining fifty million get the death sentence.
Turkeys have the
worst lawyers.

Orange is the old Black
Indians look down upon dark skin. As a kid my mother only allowed me to wear orange, because it made my skin look lighter. So, for me, "Orange is the old Black."