ArtySri's Jokes

I am a late bloomer, my funny bones took time to develop.

Comedians see the glass as half bull.

Hover over the text to view the full joke

Americans love sales

Why do Americans love sales?
Because for them, money is a “big deal.”

Sports fans

Why are sports fans not good sports?

Oxymoron

Waking up sleepy.

Beauty

Beauty is short-lived: just ask the Christmas tree.

Paradox

Why are people so stressed about relaxing?

Problem-solving

Can we rebrand world hunger as intermittent fasting?

IVF

IVF is a battle won with sex and drugs.

Elon Musk

Does wanting to go to Mars make Elon Musk mad or just a nomad?

Hangover
Chocoholics like me love bars. Bars of chocolate. We have massive hangovers. Our waist, our bellies, our hips, our thighs, all "hangover."
Paradox

One of the paradoxes of our society is that fat people don't carry a lot of weight.

Binge-watching

Binge-watching is an eating disorder waiting to happen.

Cannibals
Are couch potatoes who eat French fries cannibals?
Weight loss
I am depressed about my weight;
I need a shrink for my stomach
Knock knock

Knock knock jokes won’t get you anywhere.
Opportunity never
knocks twice.

Edison
If Edison believed success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, instead of the light bulb he’d have invented deodorant.
Angry feminists

Some feminists are always so angry and hitting the roof.
Do they think that’s the only way to break the glass ceiling?

Worst lawyers

Every Thanksgiving the President pardons one lucky turkey,
and all the remaining fifty million get the death sentence.
Turkeys have the
worst lawyers.

Orange is the old Black
Indians look down upon dark skin. As a kid my mother only allowed me to wear orange, because it made my skin look lighter. So, for me, "Orange is the old Black."